Saturday, November 29, 2003
THANKSGIVING TURKEY. Despite many important things going on in the world, and even in our humble Cowtown, local liberal columnist Bob Ray Sanders chose to write about cooking oil. It seems tha BRS is worried about people deep frying turkey on Thanksgiving, because they use a lot of oil. BRS is afraid they will all dump it into the sewer rather than take it to the disposal center for hazardous materials. As a true liberal, I am sure Bob is aghast that the government does not regulate this important area. There should be a government issued permit that requires you to check in with your oil within 24 hours to avoid massive fines and taxes that would be used to clean up the environment. A cabinet level position would be created, the Turkey Oil Minister, who would put together a top level staff with offices in every major city with a budget of millions. The staff, of course, would be hired from a cross section of multi-ethnic persons for maximum diversity, preferably with a plethora of sexual orientations, all liberal, anti-war, anti-bus, well just generally anti. All offices would be required to post a large picture of Hillary Clinton on the wall with a plague that says "hope springs eternal".