Friday, March 05, 2004

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A DEMOCRAT.

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-bidding
Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

3. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal
funding.

4. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.

5. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

6. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start wars.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee, and Thomas Edison.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.


17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal

18. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.

19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy. (ok, I admit that one).
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