Friday, April 30, 2004

Psalm 77:17. The clouds poured out water; the skies gave forth thunder; your arrows flashed on every side. (ESV)
Ok, it appears we've survived. I would have told you earlier, but the cable internet went down for a while. We're still getting thunder and lightning, but it has moved east. I can't tell you how impressive it was, driving home from Starbucks and seeing this huge, classic wall cloud. It was round and swirled. The middle was very dark and there were green bands around it. Also in the middle were smaller clouds showing down draft, just like it does right before it forms the wall cloud and tornado. It never formed a tornado, though.

We had winds of 60 mph and nickel sized hail, along with some hard rain. The worst of the storm is now in south Arlington and going east.

It was impressive.
It is now thundering so loud I can hardly hear the television. The Baby has gone to the hall closet. She periodically yells out " that one was louder" or "that sounded closer". And she's right.
ABORTION HYPOCRISY. David Koyzis points out the fallacies in the position of politicians who say they personally oppose abortion, but cannot vote to enforce that belief on others (the position of every Catholic Democrat you know). Read it here.
BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!! A huge storm is just blowing in. It is several miles across, round and swirly like a you know what. The weather channel says to take cover. It is raining. The Baby and I are at home. The Little Woman is at a worship conference at Wedgwood Baptist Church. Now I hear hail. The TV said the front edge has 80 mph winds. It should be wild!
GO THOU AND DO LIKEWISE. Today, by the way, is the anniversary of Hitler's suicide in 1945. Hence the breakout of anti-semitism in Europe today. You could only hope his admirers would emulate his ultimate solution.
VICHY IS BACK IN STYLE. Go here to see the highly tolerant, sophisticated, and cultured French desecrate the graves of Jews.
BETTER LEARN TO SPEAK ARABIC. The city council of Hamtramck, Michigan voted unanimously to approve an ordinance permitting area mosques to broadcast calls to prayer over loudspeakers five times a day. You might remember that our Federal Courts have outlawed prayers at football games and graduations (of course, by Christians). This might not be the end of the American way of life, but you can see if from here.
CALVINIST QUOTE OF THE DAY. "It needs to be said very plainly that the primary founders and leaders of American Baptists and Southern Baptists for the first 50 years of this convention believed these doctrines of grace. Fred Malone, pastor of First Baptist Church, Clinton, La.

Dr. Malone is the father of Joanna Jones, erstwhile member of the Koinonia Sunday School Class.
POEM OF THE DAY.

Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness or farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Thursday, April 29, 2004

POEM OF THE DAY II. Here also is the first poem I had published.

Insomnia

In the long, long night
when I am hot
and she is cold
the ceiling fan blows and blows.

One white leg, the blanket escapes.
Nothing else but face appears.
Face and foot float in the dark
while I break out in sweat.

I sit up and look for help,
my eyes adjusting to the dark.
I ask her if she is awake.
She grinds her teeth and sleeps.

I awake with a start,
my head against the wall.
Her face and foot have disappeared.
Her fingers rest lightly on mine.



POEM OF THE DAY. Poetry Month is winding down. I may have to extend it, since I missed so much of it. Here is another by William Carlos Williams. It is called "The Gift".


As the wise men of old brought gifts
guided by a star
to a humble birthplace

of the god of love
the devils
as an old print shows
retreated in confusion.

What could a baby know
of gold ornaments
or frankincense and myrrh,
of priestly robes
and devout genuflections?

But the imagination
knows all stories
before they are told
and knows the truth of htis one
past all defection

The rich gifts
so unsuitable for a child
though devoutly proffered,
stood for all that love can bring.

The men were old
how could they know
of a mother's needs
or a child's
appetite?

But as they kneeled
the child was fed.
They saw it
and
gave praise!

A miracle
had taken place,
hard gold to love,
a mother's milk!
before
their wondering eyes.

The ass brayed
the cattle lowed.
It was their nature.

All men by their nature give praise
It is all
they can do.

The very devils
by their flight give praise.
What is death,
beside this?

Nothing. The wise men
came with gifts
and bowed down
to worship
this perfection.


CALVINIST QUOTE OF THE DAY. "The old truth that Calvin preached, that Augustine preached, that Paul preached, is the truth that I must preach to-day, or else be false to my conscience and my God." C. H. Spurgeon.
GUNS INTO PLOWSHARES. If you want to weaken our military (and who wouldn't in our peace filled world), John Kerry is your man. Go here to read Kim duToit's compilation of Kerry's rather extensive and impressive record of voting to cut military spending and prevent the development of new weapons. Kerry wants to divert money from the military and send it to social programs. You know, refuse to develop a new attack helicopter and open dental clinics in Appalachia. It just sounds better, doesn't it? We have made a real difference in people's lives, giving them the ability to chew effectively, but only on vegetables, they signed an agreement not to eat meat unless the animals died of natural causes in peaceful surroundings and had no surviving relatives and no broccoli was available.

Of course, living makes a great difference in people's lives. You can't chew much in a coffin, or with your body blown to bits from a terrorist attack. But, we can count on the French to protect us! And the Canadians! Hello, this is America. We need your help. Hello, hello?

Speaking of despicable Canadians, they are now back on top my list. They voted to outlaw the Bible's condemnation of homosexuality as hate speech. I hate that. Is that hate speech? Do you have to actually hate for it to be hate speech, or is it just "hateful" as my mother used to say, meaning she didn't like it? I'll research this and get back to you. It does, however, look like I won't be going to Canada on vacation either.
MORE CORRUPTION AT THE UNITED NATIONS. A huge portion of the contracts in the oil for food program has disappeared. What an incredible coincidence! I suggest having Hillary Clinton look for them. She was so good at finding those billing records. Maybe if she put her mind to it, they would just magically appear on a table in her office! Poof! Oil for food contracts from the United Nations. The other alternative would be to appoint a commission at the U.N. to study the problem. The could call it the Exalted Commission For The Investigation of Mysteriously Missing Documents. The could appoint a Most High Commissioner of the Exalted Commission For the Investigation of Mysteriously Missing Documents and appoint someone from Sweden or Norway to be the head of it. He would need a uniform with a sash. He would have a great resume, with experience on the European Union Committee of Manipulation of Grain Prices in Africa. He would obtain representatives from all the really important countries in Africa, such as Niger and Ghana. They would meet for a year, spend a budget of one billion dollars, and include it was the fault of the United States and Israel.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

MORE PROOF THAT EVOLUTION IS A MYTH. I rode a crowded, hot elevator upward toward the 9th floor. At the 5th floor, the door opens and a few people get out. A man turned toward the remainder of us in the elevator and said "is this the floor you go to for jury service?" A kindly woman next to me said "Nope, it is on the first floor, in the big room right by the elevators, with the big sign on it that says 'JURY ROOM' in big letters.

Do these people get on trains and wait patiently fo the train to stop and the doors to open and say "is this Cleveland"?

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

FINAL THOUGHTS (for the day only, not permanently) The Little Woman went to bed a few minutes ago. I am blogging in the dark. There is a metaphor in there somewhere.

Earlier this evening, while shopping for socks, she asked me the meaning of intrinsic and extrinsic. I said I thought intrinsic was when you were on your way somewhere and extrinsic was when you used to be.

Remind me to clear that up in the morning.
TODAY'S ASTRONOMY LESSON. I read a really interesting article by Rob Moll in Christianity Today called “Finding God in the Heavens”. I know your first thought is, where else would He be? But, Moll does not mean Heaven, he means “Space”, as in the final frontier.

Moll noted that the European space program determined that “methane gas was in the planet's atmosphere, meaning the gas may have been produced by microbial life.” More likely, it was produced by microbial husbands. Even on Mars, men were passing gas long ago. This may, in fact, account for the lack of life on Mars today, as men all over Mars were sleeping on the couch. But you have to hand it to those Europeans. They spent all that money to go to Mars and find what Aggies measured in fields full of cows long ago.

Also, did you know a new planet was discovered? They called it Sedna. It is beyond Pluto, so they should have called it Goofy. Scientists are fascinated by seeing stuff really far away. That is because many of them are really nearsighted. They have to put tape on their glasses to keep their big, heavy lenses from falling out.

One scientist gushed that seeing Sedna tells them what early galaxies look like, and how galaxies change over time. They were excited to find that Sedna wore polyester just like the scientists.

Unfortunately, they named the planet after a pagan Goddess. If they had named it "Jesus", think of the fits that would have been thrown. But, name it after a pagan goddess, and it is ok. That is because no one really believes in pagan goddesses, but they know we really believe in Jesus.

This goddess is the goddess of Arctic dwellers. All four of them.

The estimated temperature of Sedna is minus 400 degrees. That is why they thought the name of an ice goddess would be appropriate. And Hillary Clinton would not let them use her name. That's cold.

Pagan goddessess aside, Moll notes that David got it right in Psalm 19:
The heavens declare the glory of God
The skies proclaim the work of his hands

God made it all, and we are just now finding big parts of it. I do not know what else we will find, but it will declare the glory and majesty of his name.
Go here for a story reporting that we have indeed found WMD in Iraq.
A POEM A DAY. It is Poetry Month. I apologize for my lack of cognizance. I like poetry. Well, I like real poetry. So, let us have poetry. Today's poem is by William Carlos Williams. He was a physician, but do not hold it against him. Everyone has to make a living and not everyone is called to the law. This poem is called "This Is Just To Say".

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

I think I like this poem because it captures the essence of being caught giving in to a pleasurable moment you do not deserve, but cannot quite bring your self to feel truly guilty about. Such as when you skip class because the spring day is truly magnificient, with a blue sky and yellow sun and warm breeze.

I stood today on top the parking garage, looking at the sky. The air was clean and clear from rain the day before. The breeze was light and cool. It was hard to go inside. I stayed the extra moment, drinking it in. The one minute vacation is not everything, but it is something.
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE SCANDALS WERE OVER II. Rev. Gerald Robinson has been arrested for the 1980 killing of a nun. Sister Margaret Ann Pahl, 71, was strangled and stabbed, and left in a hospital chapel. Her body was arranged ritualistically, with the arms folded across her chest. She was surrounded by lighted candles. (Mr. Rogers says "Can you say Satanic?") Her body was cut after death.

The killer used a weapon with "unique characteristics" and it was found to be control of, you guessed it, Gerald Robinson.

Robinson has also been accused of abusing a woman in Satanic ceremonies. I know they can't kick you out of the priesthood for being a pedophile, but can they kick you out for being a Satanist? It seems somehow to be a conflict of interest.
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT ALL THE SCANDALS WERE OVER. Rev. Jean Marie Benjamin, a French priest assigned to the Vatican and who is reported to have arranged a meeting between the pope and Tariq Aziz, received the rights to sell 4.5 million barrels of Iraqi oil. Coincidentally, the Vatican opposed the war and the Pope suggested for a while that Muslims could go to heaven without becoming Catholic or Christian.

MORE JOHN STOTT. If a local church desires to be a sign of the kingdom, and
give evidence that Christ rules, this will be reflected also in the mundane matter of the decision-making process it employs. Each local church ought to be able to say (not
in feigned piety but in humble reality) 'it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us'. How then does the King guide his people? I mention as necessary conditions only prayer and patience. But often it is nothing but a formal and only partly sincere recognition that we desire to discover the will of God. What about a period of prayer instead? Can a Christian committee discuss together if it has not learned to pray together? Do we ever stop a committee in midstream, when it has reached an impasse, in order to pray again for light and wisdom? Secondly, patience. A truly
Christian group will determine never to trample on minority opinions. To foreclose a debate by taking a snap vote and to decide issues by a bare majority, while minds are still confused and consciences troubled, is a worldly way to conduct the business of the church. It expresses a distrust in God and a disrespect for the dissidents. Do we
not believe in the Holy Spirit of unity? Then we must wait patiently, listen to each other, and strive to understand each other's concerns and scruples, until the Spirit brings us to a common mind. The local church is both a theocracy (not in the special sense that Israel was but in the general sense of submitting to God as King) and a
brotherhood. Every attempt to crush disagreement of fellow believers violates these truths and is therefore incompatible with the nature of the church. It is to use
power like the world and to forget 'the meekness and the gentleness of Christ' (2 Cor. 10:1). The Kingdom and Community: Can the Kingdom of God Satisfy Man's Search for Love? (September 1979).

FROM MIDDLE EAST NEWS LINE(via Instapundit.com). "Sudan has ordered the removal of Syrian missiles and weapons of mass destruction out of the African country. Arab diplomatic and Sudanese government sources said the regime of Sudanese President Omar Bashir has ordered that Syria remove its Scud C and Scud D medium-range ballistic missiles as well as components for chemical weapons stored in warehouses in Khartoum. The sources said the Sudanese demand was issued after the Defense Ministry and Interior Ministry confirmed a report published earlier this month that Syria has been secretly flying Scud-class missiles and WMD components to Khartoum."

Why would Syria send Scud missiles to Sudan? Maybe to help them kill off the remaining Christians and other non-Muslims. Or, maybe to hide them from those who think Syria got them from Iraq.

Monday, April 26, 2004

THAT'S WITH A "B". John Kerry's health plan will cost us $900 billion.
IS THIS A FLIP FLOP? In a November 6, 1971 taped interview, John Kerry said "I gave back, I can't remember, six, seven, eight, nine medals." Today, on Good Morning America, Charlie Gibson said "Senator, I was there 33 years ago, and I saw you throw medals over the fence..." JK replied, "...you are wrong."
THE BABY IS 17! How did this happen? I am checking my records to see if this is really correct. Last time I checked, she was 6. Actually, I am acutely aware of her age and what it means to my life. She has become a wonderful young woman, pretty, smart, and most important, spiritual. I am really proud of her and, more than proud, thankful to God for giving me the stewardship of this wonderful person. I found out yesterday she will be one of the speakers on the youth mission trip, so I know God will continue to use her.

She asked me yesterday if I missed my daughters being young children. I told her no. I enjoyed that time, and there are days I would like to go back and re-live certain fun times. But, the trick to life is to enjoy each stage as it comes. That applies to your life and to the life of your children. Enjoy them as babies, enjoy them as teenagers, enjoy them as adults. I do, and I enjoy conversing with my older children as adults.

For example, the College Daughter came home for the birthday celebrations. We were the only ones home Friday night and most of Saturday, and had a wonderful time being together and talking. Most of our conversations end up eventually in theology of some sort. Often, we are wondering about the same issues. We had a great talk. Thank you sweet heart, it was great to have you home.

I may have shocked her a bit to say I thought the Catholic view of birth control may be right as opposed to the Protestant view, but that is a work in progress.

CALVINIST QUOTE OF THE DAY. Hello to all the budding Calvinists I've met at Texas A & M and here is a quote for you. "In short, limited atonement affirms that Jesus Christ in dying bore the sins of his people, enduring all the punishment that was due them by becoming the curse that the law demanded. It pleased the Lord to bruise him for this purpose, for in so doing he gained - by his meritorious death - forgiveness, righteousness, sanctification, and eternal glory for a large and definite number of people, all of whom he knew and to whom he was joined before the foundation of the world." Thomas J. Nettles Ph.D., professor, Southern Baptist Seminary.

Friday, April 23, 2004

WHAT'S IN A NAME. The Catholics like grandiose names as much as the United Nations. The outfit that Arinze works for, and that issued the report, is known as the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments. If this were a commission of the United Nations, Arinze would be known as the High Commissioner. But, in Catholic terms, he'll have to make do with "cardinal". He does, however, get to wear that spiffy red stuff, whereas the UN guys just wear suits.
KERRY'S CATHOLIC QUAGMIRE. Today Cardinal Francis Arinze spoke at the Vatican about pro-abortion, Catholic politicians receiving communion. A reporter asked Arinze if Kerry could receive communion given his "unapologetic support" of abortion rights. Arinze said the church's position was clear, such politicians are not fit to take communion. I take that as a "yes".

In fact, Bishop Raymond Burke, the archbishop of St. Louis, has said he would refuse to give Kerry communion. Kerry's own archbishop, Sean O'Malley of Boston, endorses the principle.

I'm glad to see the Catholics making a move to hold politicians accountable. We'll see how much backbone they display. Fortunately, seated in the center of the remains of the Roman Empire, Il Papa does not see American politics as all important, and may think the principles of the church are more important. We'll see.







Human Rights Watch has established that pro-government, Arab, militias executed 136 men in Sudan last month. United Nations Human Rights Commission, containing 5 of the most repressive regimes on the face of the Earth, expresses solidarity with the country in overcoming the present situation. The Commission did not address the targeting of civilians, the rape of women in the persecuted groups, or the removal of black (and thus, non-Arab) peoples from their homes and communities. It is more likely the members of the Commission felt appreciation for the quick dispatch of non-Arabs by the Sudanese government.

And the Arabs in Sudan have been really effecient. Even the United Nations (the sponsor for the Commission) agrees that 10,000 people or more have been killed. In addition, more than one million non-Arabs have been displaced over the past year. Does this remind you of Cambodia by chance?

The militias, along with government troops, capured men from the Fur ethnic group, loaded them in Sudanese Army trucks, and took them to a place to be executed.

Great place, Sudan. I don't think I'll be going to this sinkhole for vacation any time soon.

Where is old Kofi in all of this? Where is the man of conscience? Is he afraid to speak against the Commission even when it is making a mockery of the United Nations?

Where are those nations who thought liberating Iraq from rape squads is wrong? Where is France? Ok, that wasn't fair. I know they are distracted right now because that government minister resigned after being caught with the underaged Romanian prostitute. And with that embarassing disclosure of oil vouchers from Saddam.

The fact is the Europeans do not care what happens to Africa except where it affects their interests, and the United Nations will not act.

Mr. Rogers says "can you say Rwanda?"





Thursday, April 22, 2004

TASTELESS IV. John Kerry won 3 Purple Hearts, a Bronze Star, and a Silver Star in four months of duty in Vietnam. He was a busy, busy boy. And to top it all off, he did not miss a day of service. Now, I know when you are connected, you can really get things for yourself, but you have to know when to stop.
TASTELESS III. Hey, isn't today "Earth Day"? I'm not sure what that means, but I meant to wear Birkenstock sandals today and hug a tree. Instead I spent all day inside at meetings, driving my old truck, and drinking Diet Coke. Are any of those Earth Day activities? They're not are they. I should have gone to a rally somewhere, sat on the grass and listened to folk music. Especially folk music by old people. OK, I'm thinking of Mary Travers from Peter, Paul, and Mary. I saw them on TV. They looked old. I'm hoping they are older than me and look it. But, it makes it more spiritual if the folk singers are old. I think that is because it makes people long for the '60s. Especially if they are too young to have known the "60s. But it was cool to be radical then, wasn't it? I mean, they had their own music.

Now, Peter Paul and Mary would play at Starbucks and drink latte. Wear sunglasses indoors. But, it wouldn't be the same.

Hey, what if they found out that Starbucks' coffee was made in sweat shops by Honduran women. Do you think people would quit drinking it? Would Kathy Lee Gifford be their spokesperson? Nah.

Let's sing some folk songs. I feel earthy.
NEW READERS. Hello to new readers Shareen and Madison! Please read the warning label.
TASTELESS II. Anna Kournikova's parents have sued her for their share of a home in Florida. ("Sorry, I know you're my kid and all, but money is money, kid. Go get a lawyer and quit whining.") Maybe when they get the money, they'll buy some pictures of Princess Diana's body. Or give an interview to CBS.

Maybe I could sue the Baby and get a court order for her to clean her room! See, this could open a whole new world of litigation. How about a suit for damages when your kid comes home late? You could claim pain and suffering for the anxiety of worrying about them. I know I had a lot of mental distress while changing diapers. Has the statute of limitations run (no pun intended) on that? I'm sure they did it on purpose.
TASTELESS. CBS TV showed two pictures of Princess Diana dying after her car wreck. CBS does not seem to understand why her family is upset. This is further proof of how far TV people are removed from reality. They have no respect for the living or the dead. It is like the Don Henley song "Dirty Laundry". It makes me wince and I didn't even do it.
ANDREW SULLIVAN. He blogged a very interesting e-mail from Iraq. Read it here.
HEARERS OF THE WORD. A deaf church is a dead church; that is an unalterable principle. God quickens, feeds, inspires and guides his people by his Word. For whenever the Bible is truly and systematically expounded, God uses it to give his people the vision without which they perish. From "I Believe in Preaching" (London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1982), p. 113, by John Stott.

ON CALVIN. "I affirm that he excels beyond comparison in the interpretation of Scripture, and that his commentaries ought to be more highly valued than all that is handed down to us by the Library of the Fathers; so that I acknowledge him to have possessed above most others, or rather above all other men, what may be called an eminent gift of prophecy." James Arminius.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

QUID PRO QUO. The investigation begins today of the United Nations Oil For Food program in Iraq. Saddam may have stolen as much as one billion dollars. That is even more money than the Little Woman spent on clothes last month. The question to be resolved is this. Is the United Nations the most corrupt political body on Earth, the most incompetent, or both? I would like to see American newspapers flogging the UN, the French, and the Russians for their corrupt dealings with Iraq, that influenced their opposition to the war, with the same vigor they have flogged the President for entering the war.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

BRING BACK STALIN. Do you ever wonder if the Democrats would really usher in a totalitarian state if left unchecked? Of course, you want to say "surely not". Then you read the advertisement the St. Petersburg Democratic Club published. It basically advocates killing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. The newspaper advertisement reads "We should put this S.O.B. up against a wall and say 'This is one of our bad days,' and pull the trigger." Liberal may mean you have to tolerate every sexual perversion known to man and tout every opponent of the United States, but it does not mean you have to tolerate your political adversaries.

It is a good thing the Democrats cannot get their way, or Republican ranks would dwindle. Remember that Alec Baldwin advocated killing Henry Hyde. Here is the new motto: vote Republican; it's safer!

Monday, April 19, 2004

FANNY CROSBY:

And all the way my Savior leads me
oh the fullness of His love
perfect rest in me is promised
in my Father's house above
when my spirit clothed immortal
wings its flight to realms of day
this my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way

Despite constant hammering by the liberal media and the Democratic party, the President's lead over Ketchup Kerry has increased, fewer Americans support withdrawing troops, and more Americans support an increase in the number of troops in Iraq. Journalists are finally beginning to write about France and Russia making deals for Iraqi oil that fueled their opposition to the war. It could get interesting.
Can you guess what the most popular name for baby boys is in Belgium? It is Mohammed. I wonder if that had any effect on Belgium's opposition to the war with Iraq?

Sunday, April 18, 2004

I do have this one nice thing to say about I-45. The wildflowers were breathtaking. Huge patches of yellow flowers, bluebonnets, pink Evening Primrose, red, dark red, and white. In places, it did not look real. God's decoration is always the best.
BRING BACK DUELING. Yuppies of Zion advocates the return of dueling, or at least recognizes the problem. I think dueling should be legal. There should be some way to protect your honor. If you are dishonored, you must put up or shut up. I remember suffering dishonor at the hands of a minor church staff member some years ago. The church staff protected him, so there was not way to really make a statement. I started telling all my friends they should bring back dueling, so I could avenge my honor. I would even let him pick the weapons. He left town for several weeks. I did not feel restored, but at least everyone acknowledged that he, at least, was not willing to stand and take the heat for his weasly actions. Later he moved to California, which kind of caps it.

I think dueling is out of favor, because sometimes the wrong guy, at least in public opinion, wins. It all goes back to that Alexander Hamilton thing. He dueled, he lost. The world whines. Sigh.
BANKER'S HOURS, PART II. Why do they put "Wanted" posters of bankrobbers in the post office? So, when Henry and Mabel go to mail their bills, they say "Wait, Mabel, isn't that the guy that robbed the Farm and Home when we was in there last week?" And Mabel says "Yep, it looks like him. Blue shirt and black mask."

Of course, no one would rob the post office. Because you would have to worry that they had just fired somebody, and they would shoot you with the rest of them.



I'M BACK. Or, as my neighbors would say, HEEE'SSS BAAAAAACK!!! I don't understand it, really, but as soon as drove in, all the kids disappeared from their yards and my next door neighbors got in their car and drove off. Probably a coincidence.

Anyway, paranoia aside, I just got back from this trip: Fort Worth to Houston, Houston to College Station, College Station to Fort Worth. Things I noted on the road: first, there are no Starbucks on I-45. Really, there is not much of anything until you get to Huntsville. Then, there is a prison and a Walmart. The Walmart is the blue one, by the way. The prison has better landscaping. And a fountain. I wonder why they need a fountain. Is it to torture the prisoners? Otherwise, they would look out of their cells onto I-45 and think they have it better.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? 5 of the 15 most oppressive regimes in the world have seats on the United Nations Human Rights Commission. This is not a joke. Topping it all off is the fact that Cuban delegates beat a man in the building in Geneva because he advocates a free Cuba. Cuba, of course, has a seat. Mr. Rogers asks "Can you say fox guarding the hen house?" I still say the U.N. is one of the most corrupt and useless organizations on the face of God's Green Earth.
BANKER'S HOURS. So, a guy in Lynchberg Virginia decides to rob a bank. He grabs his pellet gun and goes to the bank. Problem. The bank is closed for lunch. He can't get in. So, he bangs on the door. The tellers call the cops. He gets arrested. Planning is everything.

You have to wonder about the guys thought processes (if there were any). I mean how do you get from home in the recliner to trying to rob a bank with a pellet gun. Well, officer, I was sittin; in the Lazy Boy havin' an early beer, just trying to keep the edge off you know, watching Dukes of Hazzard, and I thought to myself, self, I could knock off a bank. So, I grabbed a pellet gun and headed out. Who knew they'd be closed?

Most banks, of course, have armed guards. Like with real guns and ammo. So, he got off pretty lucky. If this had happened in West Texas, he'd a pulled out the gun, and 16 customers woulda opened fire with Smith and Wessons.

But, really, do you want to commit a crime in a town called Lynchberg?
I LIKE THIS GUY. Fabrizio Quattrocchi was taken hostage in Iraq. Then, they executed him. They put a hood on him and held a gun to his head. Quattrocchi tried to take off his hood. He declared: Now I'm going to show you how an Italian dies. Of course, the cowards killed him. Now, that is bravery that Islamic terrorists could only dream of. Italians. God bless them.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Just when I thought all Europeans had become spineless cowards, they tell Osama Bin Laden they will not negotiate a truce with him. Suddenly, the found their spine. Maybe the bombings in Spain got to them. The jury is still out on their courage, in my case, but this is a step in the right direction. They should tell him he can surrender and they will make sure he gets last rites.
HELLO FROM HOUSTON. Hello, everyone, from downtown Houston. I am in Kava Kanes. There is no Stabucks in downtown Houston that stays open after 6pm. What's up with that Starbucks? Anyway, we went tonight to a great seafood restaurant, Massa's, across from the Four Seasons Hotel. I had a great grilled salmon. The manager, a cute, pregnant red head, kept coming to the table and talking. I asked her about Starbucks, but she told me about this place. The hotel has a couple of courtesy cars, so I got one to bring us here. And guess what? They have computers with internet service. Yes! So, while I am drinking a latte the size of a goldfish bowl, I am blogging. LIVE FROM HOUSTON, IT'S LARRY!!!

I have been studiously attending sessions for the health law conference while the Little Woman lounges around in the luxurious hotel. When we arrived, they offered us a suite for $30 more, so I took it. Is she spoiled or what. So, while I am studying, she is having breakfast in bed, swimming, working out, soaking in the hot tub, watching movies, and generally acting like she is a princess in a spa.

I have met some interesting people, though. Several lawyers from deep carpet firms, people that run companies that own chains of hospitals, doctors, and the concierge guy.

The music in this coffee shot is different than my usual. It sounds like early '70s rock, with better sound, and a mix of techno. Well, you just have to be here.

Tomorrow it is half a day of conference, then drive to College Station. The Baby is still in Cowtown, and is flying in. She is flying by herself for the first time, and get this, on American Eagle. In case you have never flown with them, AE is to airlines what Yugo is to cars. The have prop planes. They are loud, they vibrate, they are hot. Poor kid. The only thing I can say is THE LITTLE WOMAN BOOKED THE FLIGHT, NOT ME!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to see her walk off the plane.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

ADVENTURES IN JOY. This morning we are off to Houston. But first comes the adventures of trying to get Joy out of town. Mike can attest to this by the way. So far, we have to take food to some friends, drop off Claire, take Claire's bag to my sister-in-law, get Lindsey's license plate sticker, go to the post office, pick up the rent car, get cash. My only errand: go to Starbucks. See ya.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

AMAZING LOVE, HOW CAN IT BE? The Divine Lover still sorrows when his love is unrequited, and pines for our continuing, deepening, maturing
adoration. Love, then, is the first mark of a true and living church. Indeed, it is not a living church at all unless it is a loving church. The Christian life is essentially a love-relationship to Jesus Christ. (From "What Christ Thinks of the Church" (revised and
illustrated edn. Milton Keynes: Word UK, 1990), p. 23.)

Monday, April 12, 2004

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW DON'T ASK.

Here is a cross examination of a police officer by a criminal defense attorney in a felony trial - it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?

A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?

A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?

A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?

A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?

A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see sir, we share the building with the entire court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

Friday, April 09, 2004

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one -- but he can only do it when the whole world revolves around him.
HOWDY YA'LL. The College Daughter tells me that some of her friends have begun reading my blog. Welcome aboard. I am humbled and, (well ok I'm not humbled but everyone says that when something neat happens...why do they do that? Except Mohammed Ali who was really Cassius Clay but you know that Arab thing, everyone is old so and so who is also known as this and that, but anyway he always said he was the greatest, never that he was humbled, yet everyone liked him. Well, at least until he started mumbling all the time, but that was some disease wasn't it, so we shouldn't hold it against him) and baffled. Why would college students want to read this blog. My suspicion is that it is not my political insight or my charming Calvinism, but rather my offbeat since of humor. Sometimes living in an alternative universe pays off!

For example, the Baby has a friend named Ruth. I can use her real name because she does not know blogs exist. Ruth lives in the Ruthiverse, a special place only she knows. She also has super powers, for she can pass back and forth between our univere and the Ruthiverse at will, and we never know when she leaves. But we always know when she comes back, because she will say something to show she has been gone. Recently we were engaged in our Sunday night ritual of watching Alias, which we have been doing since the first episode. I am there, the Baby is there, the Baby's boyfriend (Tall Guy), and Ruth. About half way into the episode, Ruth said "So, she is like some kind of spy or something, huh."

We all turned to look at her and in unison sang "Do do do do" which, if you do not have sound on your computer is part of the theme song for Twilight Zone.

But, I admit I feel this way when I read about Canada and Canadians. I find myself saying stuff like "So, they are some kind of Frenchmen aren't they?"
O CANADA. Not wanting to be left out of the wave of French anti-semitism, Canada has joined the fray. Over 600 incidents of violence and harassment towards Jews have occurred in the last year, culminating in the recent firebombing of a Jewish elementary school. The Canadians must figure, as do American liberals, that anything the French do must be cool. I thought these liberal, secular societies were beyond this.
OUTSOURCING STRIKES AGAIN. Infosys, an Indian company, is creating 500 jobs in the United States. American critics of outsourcing are strangely silent.
JAPAN HAS GUTS. Japan vows to stay in Iraq despite kidnappings. It is good to see someone with guts. It's too bad Japan does not still have Samurai warriors. They could send 100 of those guys over there and finish this whole mess. Plus, it would make a great movie.
JOCK SHOCKED. Shock Jock Howard Stern has gotten what he asked for, but now that he has it, he does not want it. Stern's purpose for existence is to present programming that the average, moral person finds offensive and shocking. That is why they call him a shock jock. Stern has become quite successful. He not only has made a lot of money and become a celebrity of sorts (the same sort as the bearded lady and 600 pound man at the carnival), but has shocked and offended a multitude.

So, the jock should not be shocked that offended people have taken offense. A multitude complained to the FCC about the language and sexual content. The FCC fined his employer, who took him off the air. Stern whined that the Administration persecuted him for criticizing the President. First of all, criticism from Stern would just affirm to most of the President's supporters that the is doing the right thing. Second, it is just a sign of success and accomplishment by Stern. He should great, I've reached my objective. This proves how offensive I am.

And Howard, quit whining.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET IT. What would make you think this is a good idea? A church in Pennsylvania put on an Easter show where actors whipped the Easter Bunny, supposedly to show Christ's sufferings. Kids and parents are upset. Can you say "bad judgment"? Maybe for Christmas they will crucify Santa Claus.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

THE END TIMES. I was just thinking of how much more civilized we are in America than in Iraq. Then I read this story about two 9 year olds in North Carolina fighting over a Little Debbie Zebra Cake. One of the boys was knocked unconscious. (I could have understood this if they were fighting over a Starbucks latte, but, really, a Zebra Cake?) I think these people are what my father called "the unwashed masses". I decided this meant civilization is coming to an end.

There are many signs that the fabric of our civilization is worn at the elbows. One is the Fort Worth Independent School District, which is also testimony that a large organization can exist on inertia alone. They have survived for years with absolutely no management. There are people that work there that don't know it.

Another is that McDonald's has to put pictures of the food on the buttons of the cash register so their employees can figure out what to charge you. ("Say, man, do that look like a cheese burger to you, or do that just be the special sauce drippin' out?") Robot technology would help here. You could program the robot to be polite, something you cannot program people to be without violating their civil rights.

Another is the courthouse. I know you have heard me say that watching people at the courthouse proves there is no evolution. We may have devolution, but no evolution. Even monkeys are embarassed to claim these people as descendants.

Why would you get on the elevator not knowing what floor your are supposed to go to? Why would you ask "where is the basement?" Why would you ask me what floor you came in on?

Then there was the guy we found walking down our hallway, which is supposed to be locked off from the unwashed masses, I mean the public. He was barefoot. We asked him what he was doing, and he said he was looking in all the offices for something to eat. We beat him unconscious. Those are our Little Debbie cakes.
FROM WWW.JEFFDOOLITTLE.COM: Here's a thought--since the Democrats are so unhappy with, as they call it, President Bush's war on terror, how about they forego Secret Service protection for their 2004 Convention? Why don't they use this event as an opportunity to show us how they would better implement Homeland Security? They could provide their own anti-terror measures, screen attendees themselves and show that they don't need the help of the Bush administration to keep themselves safe.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

THE BIBLE BELT IS UNBUCKLED. This is a scary story. Harrison Kravat, age 8, was reading his Bible during a daily reading time in his Louisiana school. The children were allowed to bring books from home to read during this time. Harrison's teacher confiscated the Bible and told him never to bring it again! (At least they did not put him in prison for it.) His parents intervened and the situation was straightened out. Harrison is back to reading his Bible during reading time. This happened next door in Louisiana, folks, in the South, in the Bible Belt, in Southern Baptist territory.
I THINK I LIKE THIS GUY. America’s national success "is due to Calvinistic principles and doctrines...America, more than any other, is a religious Calvinistic nation. Abraham Kuyper (1837-1920),
WHAT'S IN A NAME. Having discovered that the escalator in the Tandy Center across the street has a label saying it is made by Schindler, people have taken to calling it Schindler's Lift.

Monday, April 05, 2004

I LOVE AN OPTIMIST. I'm not one, but I love 'em. John Kerry has a legal team in place so that he can challenge any vote in Florida that is close. I'm hoping he does not need it.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

PALM SUNDAY.

Ride on, ride on, in majesty!
Hark! all the tribes Hosanna cry;
O Savior meek, pursue Thy road
With palms and scattered garments strowed.

Ride on, ride on, in majesty!
In lowly pomp ride on to die!
O Christ! Thy triumph now begin
Over captive death and conquered sin.

Ride on, ride on, in majesty!
The wing├Ęd squadrons of the sky
Look down with sad and wondering eyes
To see the approaching sacrifice.

Ride on, ride on, in majesty!
Thy last and fiercest strife is nigh;
The Father, on His sapphire throne,
Expects His own anointed Son.

Ride on, ride on, in majesty!
In lowly pomp ride on to die;
Bow Thy meek head to mortal pain,
Then take, O God, Thy power, and reign.

Friday, April 02, 2004

HOW LONG WAS IT? Some are complaining about how long the war is taking, but...

It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound. That was a 51 day operation.>

We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.>

It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Teddy Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.>

It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida.
WHAT CAN WE GIVE UP NOW? Spain must be reeling today, and not in the Steely Dan sense. After giving up their government and a stake in Iraq in reaction to the train bombings, Spanish police today found explosives on thier high speed line between Madrid and Seville. I thought people only made that trip to go to the barber, but it turns out tourists and vacationers frequent that line, especially this time of year. Ten trains are stopped on the tracks. Yesterday, three letter bombs were sent to journalists in Madrid.

It is tempting to say "what did you expect?" Obviously, they expected they would be rewarded peace for surrender. That seldom happens. What you get for surrender is further attacks. Show your enemies you are weak, and they are strengthened. It is also tempting to say I told you so. I wonder if any Spaniards read this blog?
COUGAR CITY. Just when you think we have become civilized, this news report comes out. Arlington police say a cougar is lurking around a park in Arlington. Local residents see it as competition for Fort Worth, sometimes referred to as the "Panther City". It gets worse as you go east. Anyone who has been to a Dallas City Council meeting knows that city is just catty.
WHICH PRESIDENT AM I?

(1) I declared war on Germany. Germany never attacked the U.S. In my war, 450,000 lives were lost, an average of 112,500 per year. I am Franklin Roosevelt. I am a Democrat.

(2) I finished Roosevelt’s war and started my own a little later against a little country in Asia, North Korea, that had not attacked the United States and did not have the ability to do so. In my war, 55,000 lives were lost, an average of 18,333 per year. I am Harry Truman. I am a Democrat.

(3) I inherited the war John F. Kennedy involved America in. Vietnam never attacked us. I escalated the war. In my war, 58,000 lives were lost. I am Lyndon Johnson. I am a Democrat.

(4) I attacked a little country in Europe without UN or French consent. Bosnia never attacked the United States. Later, I blew up an aspirin factory in Sudan. Sudan never attacked the United States. My name is Bill Clinton. I am a Democrat.
HOW BAD IS IT IN IRAQ? There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during the month of January. In Detroit there were 35 murders that month.
GOT PROPHECY? "The subject of prophecy has, of course, held an attraction for a great many superficial souls with a flair for the spectacular. Gog and Magog, the 666, the beasts of Revelation, have, indeed, fallen into the hands of too many mere sensationalists who have ranged over the country with wild and weird charts of their own devising, setting dates almost as brazenly as ever the Millerites dared to do. But then any kind of light will attract a certain number of bugs." Vance Havner.
MEMO FROM GOD

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

Today I will be handling all of your problems for you. I do not need your help. So, have
a nice day.

I love you.
GOD

P.S.

And, remember....

If life delivers something you can not handle, do not attempt to resolve it
all by yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not
yours.

P.S.S. Once you place the matter into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

For example:

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unknown privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work, think of the person who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship, think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror, Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and wondering about the purpose of life, be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of another's bitterness, ignorance, or smallness, things could be worse. You could be them!

Now, you have a nice day,

God
IT'S THE ECONOMY, STUPID. 308,000 new jobs were created in March.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

JOHN KERRY, LOW RIDER. It is interesting that John Kerry has both fallen in the polls and low in cash. He should be riding high after all the publicity of the primaries and all the other candidates bowing out in his favor. But he is riding low instead. Maybe people did not like him taking off to go snowboarding. I did not even know grown men could go snowboarding. I thought it was only for kids in baggy pants. Or, maybe it is a hard sell that someone with a filthy rich wife (filthy modifies rich not wife) could really be in tune with their needs. Or maybe it is because he really does look like Herman Munster.

At any rate, it is too early to decide America thinks he is a loser and will not vote for him. Just because I do.

So, what's a poor little rich kid to do when he comes back from vacation and finds himself slipping in the polls and running out of cash? I suggest calling Al Gore and getting the names of those Buddist monks. He could hit them up for more foreign money. Sure, he would eventually have to give it back since it is illegal, but it might tide him over. Or, he could go to Hollywood for a fundraiser. That always worked for Clinton. Kerry does not seem as fun a guy as Clinton, but it might work since many in Hollywood foam at the mouth just thinking that we have a conservative, God fearing, President who will actually fight for what he believes and does not sleep with the help. Kerry's slogan could be "sure, I'm not much, but I'm not George". I bet Alec Baldwin would contribute, if he has any left after fighting with Kim Basinger over custody of the kids.

Of course, how smart could Alec be if he let Kim Basinger get away. Because he had a really good deal going. He's a little fat, and not a real good actor, but he could say, sure all that is true, but I'm married to Kim Basinger, and you're not. I mean, that is what I do. I think, sure I'm short and I work for the government, and I have a smart mouth, but I'm married to the Little Woman. Na na na.

Speaking of the Little Woman, have you seen her lately? She really is the Little Woman. She lost like 25 pounds. Yesterday I walked right by her in the living room and did not even see her. She is that small. And if that wasn't enough, she is now working out. At the gym. She has never done that. I'm not sure what this is all about. Is it a birthday crisis? Is it an excuse to get a new wardrobe? Has Alec Baldwin called? (He's not that smart honey, don't take his call.)

But, she is not so small that she would vote for John Kerry. Or give him money.

Na na na.
DON'T THESE PEOPLE HAVE HOMES? Well, it has finally happened. I took the Baby to the Department of Public Safety yesterday to take her written test. She made "100". Chip off the old block. So now she has a learner's permit. Under the new law, she cannot get her license until September, which seems like a really long time. Now we must practice driving. Think of all the money I will save on amusement park rides.

Actually, all the driving instruction for the Oldest and the College Girl were relatively uneventful. The Little Woman cannot take it, so I do the practice driving. The girls have done really well and I expect the Baby to do the same. The Saturn is in the garage waiting. It took the Baby all of 15 minutes to start talking about "her" car.

Freedom of movement is a wonderful thing. To be able to go where you want, when you want, is something we take for granted, but such a joy. At least here in Cowtown, we do not wait for trains for buses, we drive. We go. We go alot. Sometimes, when I am driving with the Little Woman, I look at all the people on the road and say "don't these people have homes?" She just looks at me and smiles. I always translate that look as admiration and affection. You know "isn't he witty" or "I just love his insightful comments".

But I never ask.