Thursday, May 27, 2004

MY BALONEY HAS A SECOND NAME. Mustafa Kamel Mustafa has been indicted in the U.S. on 11 terrorism related counts. He has been arrested in London and awaits extradition proceedings. Mustafa, as all Muslim terrorists must, has a second name, it's Abu Hamza Al-Masri. He probably changed his name after Mustafa was used as a name in The Lion King. It is hard to be taken seriously as a terrorist when everyone you meet says "weren't you a character in Lion King"?

One of his notable achievements is recruiting and converting old and worn out Black Panther H. Rap Brown and teaching him that he needs a second name, which is Jamil Abdulla Al Amin.

Mustafa also tried to set up a terrorist training camp in Oregon. He intended to teach them to infiltrate Oregonian society with abortion on demand, euthanasia, and same sex marriage, but was embarrassed to find out they had all that already.

Then, he also worked as a bouncer in a bar. He was pretty effective, what with the steel hook for a hand and one eye missing. Whenever anyone would say "weren't you in Lion King?", he would give them a left hook. (Pause for drum and cymbal.)

He also married a woman who was already married. I think they idea was reverse polygamy. You know, you hardly ever see that in polygamy circles, where there are many men and one woman. That may be because women are smarter than men. Or, it may be that there is no one woman who wants to pick up that many socks.

Mustafa is also known for believing that the 9/11 attack was a Jewish plot. I called him today and asked if he also believed, along with John Kerry, that Truman missed his acceptance speech by staying home with the missus, and he said "even I can't believe that one".

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

P.J. O'Rourke would be proud.

Larry Thompson said...

Thanks. Any one who coins a phrase like "Confederacy of Dunces" is a hero of mine.