Wednesday, July 07, 2004

SOME JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT. Kenny Rogers is 65. He just had twins. He'll have to live to 83 just to see them graduate from high school.

Here is one that will get you. Sean Connery is 72. I can't believe it. I told the Little Woman "I wish I could look that good at 72." She said "I wish you could look that good now!"

Remember Scotty on the original Star Trek? He is in his 80s.

You get this shock factor when you watch TV Land. You see all these re-runs with these actors from the 60s and 70s. They never change. Then you see Captain Kirk making commercials and he is old and fat, and it shocks your system! What happened to you, man? I just saw you and you looked great.

You know, there hasn't been a Star Trek movie in a long time. Maybe they could make one where all the old captains are in the Federation of Planets Nursing Home.

Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Cisco, and the new guy from the prequal show (he used to be in the show where he jumped from time to time with the little guy with the PDA that could almost but not quite tell you where they were). Anyway, all these old captains could sit in rocking chairs and tell stories of when they were captains, then they would take them all to their rooms and put them to bed and they would all wear special Star Trek diapers with the emblem on them.

And at night, Kirk would sneak out of his room and try to visit O'Hura down the hall, and when the nurse catches him, he would pull out his Palm Pilot and start yelling "Scotty, one to beam up!". And the nurse would say "Yeah, yeah Space Man, back to bed with ya. If you get up again, I'm giving you to the Klingon nurse."

So Kirk would go back to bed clutching his Star Trek action figures and dream that he was not facing the real Final Frontier.

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