Saturday, October 30, 2004

THE BEGINNING OF THE END. We went to see the band march last night. Yes, I know most people say they went to the high school football game. I can't help them anymore.

It was poignant. It was the last game the Baby will direct as drum major, for the last game of the season is just an introduction of the seniors. I announced the band from the pressbox, then ran out into the open where I could yell "Go Claire". I wanted to add "one last time", but I didn't.

I may today. We are going to an invitational marching contest, which will truly be the last show. All things must pass.

Life is full of "last times", I warn you if you don't know. This is especially true if you have children. But, it is also true if you have family at all, or even friends. Sometimes you do not see it coming. It dawns on you only as it unfolds before your eyes and you think or say "Oh no, this is the last time..."

Sometimes, like last night, you know it is coming and you try to prepare. This is important if it involves your child, for the child never feels it with the same intensity. If you show it, it distresses them. So you smile and keep going. But, on the inside, your mind is screaming to you "THIS IS THE LAST TIME, THIS IS THE LAST TIME".

Even that screaming is better than what comes next, which is the whisper that says what you do not want to hear, and that is "what I am going to do without it?"

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