Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Well, Thanksgiving is over and the "Christmas Season" has begun.

I survived Thanksgiving even though I had to go to Wichita Falls to do it. It is not the end of the world, but I did see a sign saying it was 20 miles west.

We went there because my mother has moved there after getting remarried. Actually, she lives outside of Wichita Falls. We found our way there and it wasn’t too bad. They had running water and flush toilets inside the house. We petted the horse and saw a Road Runner in a tree. We did not see the coyote.

My mother waxed rhapsodic over watching the leaves change. I kept looking out the window and all I saw was Mesquite trees. They have little tiny leaves, so you would have to look real close to see any changes.

We drove home that night. We avoided any near death experiences such as we had on our last trip out of town.

I awoke the next morning and knew immediately the thing I dreaded most had happened. The time had come when I could no longer deny that it was the Christmas Season (add music from horror movie stabbing scene).

Did you ever wonder why we have to have a Christmas Season? We don’t have an Easter season, or a Thanksgiving season. We do have a tax season. It has the same effect on my bank account.

My favorite Christian radio station, KCBI, has begun playing Christmas music practically full time. They are even playing secular Christmas music. I have switched channels. I am going back to ‘70s rock music in protest. I don’t want to hear four weeks of songs about snow we don’t have, good feelings we don’t feel and strange words that could only be sung by people who have drunk too much egg nog.

Maybe I am just depressed because Nick and Jessica have broken up. I just knew their marriage would last. Where else but Heaven could a marriage be made between a former contemporary Christian music singer turned pop tart, whose father knows her breast size, and the former member of a boy band?

Jessica has made a public plea that their privacy be respected. What privacy would that be? The privacy they gave up when they allowed their newlywed life to be made into a tv show? Or the privacy they have getting their picture taken and published constantly, making movies, or commercials? Maybe Jessica could recover faster if she made a Christmas album.

They could play it on Christian radio.

I also get tired of all the hoopla from religious people who claim society is taking Christianity out of Christmas. The American Family Association is going after retailers who are referring to the “Holiday Season” rather than Christmas. Heaven knows you could not have a family without Christmas.

Please remember it was a pagan holiday before the Catholics took it over. All the partying and presents are hangovers from the pagan past. It is a law of nature, things revert back to their lowest state. The thin veneer of Christianity has never more than thinly veiled the pagan aspect of the celebration and now it is wearing thinner.

The next thing you know, we’ll have secular music in our church Christmas program.

Oops.

This year, my consternation will be fueled by the onslaught of marketing for the Chronicles of Narnia junk. I guess the estate of C. S. Lewis is short of cash. With the movie coming out, the push is on to sell stuff associated with the work of fantasy. There are book sets, DVDs of animated versions (Mr. Lewis, by the way, opposed the creation of an animated version and would not allow it during his lifetime. Sorry Clive.) Townhall.com, the conservative web site, is advertising it as the Bible Based Blockbuster. The alliteration suggests that a preacher made up the ad copy. I wonder if it ends with a poem.

I originally intended to buy it all, but I have no place to put it. My closet is full of Purpose Driven Life stuff. I moved to the garage my Secrets of the Vine key chains and Prayer of Jabez calendars. The Thomas Kinkade coffee mugs, mouse pads and pajamas went to the attic.

I also have to prepare myself for the preachers who will tout the Chronicles movie as the next great thing that will change the world. The same guys who thought Mel Gibson’s “Passion” would do it, will jump on the Narnia bandwagon next.

You know the guys who have gone straight to the heart of the matter are the Left Behind movie makers. They are releasing their next movie directly to churches. I think it is called “Left Behind II: Still Left Behind”.
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