HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads; "Hey Bubba - Big Mike , Slim, Tiny and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the Pitbulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but I locked all four of them in the house. Better wait outside."