Friday, January 09, 2009


After waiting several weeks for warranty approval, delivery and installation, we got a new dishwasher in yesterday. Washing dishes by hand - what a disgusting concept! Who thought of that anyway? I mean, you put all these dirty dishes with food bits and junk on them in a sink full of water. So, every time you put your hand in there, you touch someone else's floating food remains. Ugh.

Then the water turns gray or brown. And you keep washing! How can that be good?

I think this is more primitive than natural child birth.

Do they still do natural child birth? It was big in the '80s when we started having kids. It was kind of a female macho thing, I think. I remember them telling my wife if she concentrated it wouldn't hurt. I'm thinking to myself, 7 lbs or more of human is coming through there, man, no one can concentrate that hard.

I mean, how does breathing make something not hurt. The only reason you breathe is so you can scream when it really hurts!

But, I digress.

I tried breathing and concentrating while doing the dishes, but it didn't help either. It was still gross. So, I started giving all the dishes to the dog. It kept the dishwater much cleaner. Todd and Joanna, if you are reading this, I swear I washed them in really hot water after the dog licked them. Really. Don't listen to anything the Little Woman says about this.

The dog is really fat now. I'm sending him to Doggie Weight Watchers while I am in therapy.
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