Thursday, July 09, 2009

URINE THE MONEY

Forget electric cars. You might have a hydrogen car! In theory, that is a good thing, because hydrogen is the most common element in the universe. The problem is, a lot of the hydrogen is bonded to other elements and it is expensive to "unbond" them. For example, hydrogen bonded to oxygen produces water. To separate them, you apply electricity. Electricity costs money and energy to produce which may be more expensive than the product is worth. Itis also hard to store, requiring a low temperature, but a high pressure.

But, guess what. It takes less energy to take hydrogen out of urine. No, really.
Fortunately, though, there’s urine to the rescue. You can just store the hydrogen in urine. Urea, the major component in urine, is hydrogen and nitrogen mostly, about twice as much hydrogen as nitrogen.

I assume this means this will all be done somewhere out of sight and you, the driver, will just pull up to a nice sanitary hydrogen station and "pump" it into your car.

But, as you might imagine, I can think of all kinds of benefits to this.

First, it is a whole new industry for homeless people. Now they have to go to the plasma bank and donate plasma for money. You have to get stuck with a needle and people have to wait on you. But, now, they can go to the urine donation station and give a donation with relative ease. For the heavy drinkers, this is an added benefit. They have more to donate, they get more money, the refill more often and they donate more often. Talk about recycling.

And donations are really easy to make. You just install rows of urinals along the outside wall of the collection station and mark it "men". There are millions of urinals floating around in old buildings that could be salvaged and recycled. So, it is a green thing! (The recycling, not the urine silly.)

Then, you take all those vending machines from old gas stations and fix them to a sensor. When the sensor detects the donation, it dispenses money instead of, well, other things.

For women, it is a bit more complicated, of course. You would need to build stalls and proper toilets and probably places to wash hands and those thin tissue things that say you can make a ring around the seat and somehow that thin thing is supposed to prevent diseases. But, it would stimulate the economy, as we could hire the jobless and guys like Bernie Madoff to build the stuff. Plus, you would have to clean the women's side.

So, we can save the planet with urine.

We need to have a contest for the best slogan to promote this new venture. Maybe start a Facebook group.

I thought we would get T-shirts that say "Hydrogen is No. 1".
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