'TIS THE SEASON. Americans tend to believe something magic happens at Christmas that spreads good will among the populace. There was even a movie where the lead character exhorted the nation to extend this good will all year long.

Although there is a certain amount of gift giving and well wishing among friends, family and colleagues, I believe this general sentiment of good will is illusory. It is a figment of the imagination fueled by movies, sentimental songs, and delusional egg nog drinking.

We have, for example, been observing the holidays by having our cars robbed and vandalized. The College Girl's car was the first victim. Late night crooks bashed in the window and ripped out her stereo. This cost us some insurance deductible, rent car expenses, and lost time. Then, she parked my car in front of the house when she returned from college in it, only to have the window bashed in and her guitar stolen. Car insurance won't pay for the guitar, so add that expense to the previous mix.

I was working hard to get in the spirit this year. Usually I just don't make it, or don't make it there until Christmas Eve. I usually have deadlines at work, worry about how much money I'm spending, dread the choir Christmas party, and worry if the Little Woman will like my present to her.

This year, I even listened to some Christmas music, which normally drives me crazy. Really, if someone came here from another planet and listened to songs about sleighs, chestnuts, bells, and snow, they would think the whole population was on dope.

Anyway, I drank my coffee from the Christmas mug, wore the Christmas socks (although I wouldn't cross my legs), and generally tried to tune it up for Christmas.

Then, the two break ins.

Now I am back to thinking more about the depravity of man than I am peace and good will.