After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama arrived at the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama on the nose.

James Madison came up. He said "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He kicked Osama's knee.

The punishment continued as person after person beat on Osama. He screamed, "This is not what I was promised! Where are my 70 virgins?"

"Ooohhhhhh!" replies St. Peter. "You got that all wrong! It’s 70 Virginians!"