LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE. The Senate voted itself a pay raise. It is ironic, given the carping by democratic members about the tax rebate. They do not want you to have a $600 raise, but they want a $3,400 raise. They really do believe they know how to spend your money better than you do. Thank you President Bush for thinking of the rest of us.

HOW LOW CAN YOU GO. Fox News is reporting that Terri Schiavo's "husband" is preventing her parents for seeing her. I guess we shouldn't be surprised at this, after everything else he has done. These poor people have suffered too much.

SHOCKING NEWS. France and Germany say they will not give any more support to the rebuilding of Iraq. U. S. officials reacted in shock and awe. One senior administration official said "After all we have meant to each other I do not see how they could do this." Germany said it cannot afford it. France is thinking of surrendering to Iraq. The State Department blamed it on the Pentagon. North Korea has threatened the destruction of both Germany and France as a lesson to all imperial aggressors of the glorious socialist republic of starvation and delusion. The President of Malaysia says it is the fault of the Jews, as everyone knows but will not admit. Roger Williams University issued a statement that this is what happens when young Republicans begin spewing forth invective and discourse on political events without inclusion and diversity and generally sucking up to Europeans who obviously know more than we. The Fort Worth Star Telegram will include a wire service report in a couple of days.

A FOOL FOR A CLIENT. Even John Muhammad does not want to represent himself. Interviewed by Sniper Times, Muhammad said " There are some things even I won't do. Representing a sniper is one of them." The Judge has reapointed his defense attorneys and informed the jury of the change. Also according to Sniper Times, one defense attorney said "Muhammad really shot himself in the foot."

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Ben Domenech blogs that Terry Schiavo was not allowed last rites by the authorities, since the judge ordered that nothing be placed in her mouth. Since she and her family is Catholic, this was the ultimate blow. Thank God the governor has intervened. The conduct of this judge is unconscionable and her husband's conduct is whatever is worse.

MILLIONS AND MILLIONS. One in every two thousand Americans is a millionaire. I feel like cannon fodder.

DE-NUKING IRAN. Iran has decided to stop enriching uranium and start allowing full inspections. The European Union takes full credit. "We stomped our feet, and crossed our arms, and looked really mad" one diplomat asserted. Several low level representatives were seen to pout persuasively. Two frenchmen offered to surrender to the Iranians before being told they were not under attack. "No, said the German diplomat, we do not think the U. S. war in Iraq was a factor. War is never as effective as a good power lunch. Even in those in third world countries, civilized discourse almost always lead to the resolution of conflict. We expect diversity to break out in Iran at any moment."