AS IF I NEEDED A REASON. Reason Number One not to vote for John Kerry: the French like him! I agree with Professor Bainbridge on this one. Vote for Bush. Annoy France.

BACKFIRE. "John Kerry is not a black man. He is a privileged white man who has no idea what it is in this country to be a poor white in this country, let alone a black man." Paula Diane Harris, founder of the Andrew Young National Center for Social Change.

JOHN MCCAIN IS AN AGGIE. In this writing about how to be brave, McCain offers this advice I heard frequently in the Aggie Band: Suck it up! In Aggie parlance, it meant quit whining, finish the job, be a man. It is not prosaic, but it is something America can use.

The Baby and I laugh about a speech given by a young black woman at her school on Martin Luther King Day. The girl kept repeating a hook line that black people were beat down by white people. The only problem was the girl was wearing an expensive Tommy Hilfiger outfit and lived in a nice neighborhood. We wrote a counter speech, ok I did, that was titled "You Ain't Beat Down". Now I could write a sequel and call it:

Suck It Up.

That is my advice to people everywhere. I'm on board with McCain for the first time ever. If you have problems, suck it up. Finish the job. Bear the pain. Be a man. Or a woman. No, I don't mean you can choose which, I mean it applies to both.

Now I have to apply this to myself. I start the job transition tomorrow. I hate transitions. Suck it up. I have to bounce between two jobs and two places. Suck it up. I won't have a real office at the new place until the old guy leaves. You guessed it.

I feel better already.

Go and do likewise.

Yes, I know the Little Woman does not like me to use that word.

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A DEMOCRAT.

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-bidding
Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

3. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal
funding.

4. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.

5. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

6. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start wars.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee, and Thomas Edison.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.


17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal

18. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.

19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy. (ok, I admit that one).

NOW THAT MAKES SENSE. Egyptian policmen who arrest men suspected of homosexual conduct punish them with, among other things, encouraging other prisoners to rape them. Hmm. Let's see. Homosexual conduct is bad, so we will punish it by getting others to do it. I wonder if they offer logic classes in Egypt.

OPERA BOY IS COMING TO VISIT. Just heard that the famous Brandon Poor, soon to be graduate of the Manhattan Conservatory, and soon to be Fort Worth Opera bound, is coming to visit my humble home. I should get his autograph while it is still cheap. Really cheap. Really. I wonder if he will do that role where he has to wear the chicken feathers? Only if they pay him, I suspect.

Getting the Point. Houston criminal defense attorneys need the straight face rule. You know, if you can say it with a straight face I'll listen to it. Defending a woman who killed her bound husband by stabbing him 193 times, her attorney claimed self defense. I wonder if he had to practice saying that to the mirror to avoid laughing.