Go here for a great amateur ad for the President.

GROANER. I heard on the news the European Union has a ban on Texas poultry. Seems they have enough chickens in Spain.

WHAT, PART II. Speaking of KCBI, Christian radio station of the Metroplex, I heard an interview with Jan Johnsonius this morning. Those of you who know her know she is in Spain as a missionary. She was on the subway when the bomb exploded at the station.

Jan said Spain was very Postmodern although the people have a Catholic heritage. That postmodern thing is everywhere, isn’t it? John Kerry should go there. I wonder how you say Postmodern in Spanish?

WHAT? So I am driving to work this morning in my luxurious 1992 Isuzu pickup with the cheap stereo that only plays through one speaker, listening to KCBI, when a weird thing begins to happen. I hit a bump and the other speaker kicked in. I had never heard it before. It has never worked. It was like having your ears clear when you have a cold or allergy. It was unnerving. I could not decide if I liked it better than the old mono sound or not.

Then, after a few minutes, the speaker died out again and that old, comfortable, tinny, mono sound returned. I drove in peace for a while, then hit another bump. Poof! The speaker came on again, plunging me into stereo. Then, after a minute, the speaker again died. It was so weird.

I’m glad that, when you go deaf, it happens gradually, and does not cut in and out. Wouldn’t that be awful? One minute you can’t hear your wife talking to you, and one minute you can. Oh, wait a minute. Uh oh.

THE POSTMODERN JOHN KERRY. "I pray for an America where rosary beads are sold in abortion clinic gift shops," said Mr. Kerry. "But I won't be a Catholic president, or even, as John F. Kennedy called himself, 'a president who happens to be Catholic'. I will be a president who happens to say he is Catholic but doesn't feel constrained by the black-and-white teachings of a church which is the bedrock of values, of sureness about who I am." I don't know what that last clause means, but the rest means I can say I am Catholic and not believe or practice what the church believes or practices. The church's teachings may be black and white, but I will operate in the gray. Where is that good old Catholic spine? In the old days, the church would at least excommunicate him. Now they don't even reply. And most Catholics will vote for him. Blah.

STILL THE WORST. The United States Supreme Court issued two opinions today. Both were appeals from the Ninth Circuit. Both cases were reversed and remanded. The Ninth continues to be the most frequently reversed court in the land. They are clearly out of step in the legal world, but they do not care, and continue to pander to the liberal California establishment.

That raises an interesting point. California is one place where you can be anti-establishment and conservative. Cool.

I'd move there, but they don't make enough duct tape for me to keep my head from exploding there.

WOO-WHOO!! The latest Gallup Poll shows President Bush up by four percent! That is with Kerry getting almost all the media attention, not to mention all those unnamed foreign powers who support him, and with Richard Clarke vomiting all his unhappiness at being fired all over Congress and the media. (I hope Condi nails is coffin shut.) I hope this means the conservative back lash is coming again, coming in response to same sex marriage proposals, attacks on religion, and other liberal problems.

Thanks also to www.instapundit.com for pointing out Biden's involvement.

Here is an interesting report on a speech by Joseph Biden telling Europeans that many Democrats do not like Europe's attitude any better than Republicans. Thanks to "JustOneMinute" for a good post.

BLEEPED. Maybe all our protesting is doing some good. CBS bleeped Janet Jackson when taking the Lord's name in vain. Thank you CBS.

ANTI-HUMAN. Who thought we would come to this in Texas? In Dallas, a gorilla escaped from the zoo and attacked several people, causing injuries. The police had to shoot and kill the gorilla. Now, animal rights activists are protesting the shooting. They say the police should have used a tranquilizer gun. The police say they had one, but not with a clear shot, and the gorilla was attacking. The animal rights activists do not care. They do not care about the victims. They do not care about the policemen who put their own lives at risk to save others.

These people have gone beyond advocating for animals, to becoming anti-human. They have forgotten that people are indeed special, and higher than the animals. I guess we should expect this. They are the products of an education that did not teach them that men and women were made in God's image, but that they evolved from more primitive animals. Therefore all animals should have the same rights to exist.

This means they forgot, or ignored, the the other part of evolution, survival of the fittest. I guess you could call it selective evolutionary thinking. You take the part you like and ignore the remainder.

Come to think of it, many Christians do this too. They take the part of the Bible they like and ignore or criticize the rest.

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it leads you to stupid, illogical results, such as protesting those who saved humans at the expense of animals.

FRENCH DESCENT. The French are working to obtain EU approval to sell weapons to China. Not only will they make money, they will arm someone to counter the United States. Do you still think these scoundrels are our allies? Having lost their lucrative market in Iraq, the French now want to make the world a really dangerous place by arming the Chinese. Remember, also, these are the people John Kerry wants us to appease.

WHAT'S YOUR VIEW OF SAME SEX MARRIAGE? I'd rather not see it at all!

HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT GET? A recent federal crackdown on child pornography brings more bad news for Catholics. Among the arrested are a campus minister at a New Jersey Catholic girls school and a New York Catholic priest. The priest stored child porn on the computer in the church rectory.

ONE NATION UNDER GOD, PART III. All 50 states acknowledge God in their State Constitutions:

Alabama 1901, Preamble. We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution .

Alaska 1956, Preamble. We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land .

Arizona 1911, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution ...

Arkansas 1874, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government

California 1879, Preamble. We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom ..

Colorado 1876, Preamble. We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe .

Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy ...

Delaware 1897, Preamble. Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences ..

Florida 1885, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution

Georgia 1777, Preamble. We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution

Hawaii 1959, Preamble. We, the people of Hawaii, grateful for Divine Guidance, establish this Constitution

Idaho 1889, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings ..

Illinois 1870, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors ..

Indiana 1851, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to chose our form of government ...

Iowa 1857, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution

Kansas 1859, Preamble. We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges, establish this Constitution ..

Kentucky 1891, Preamble. We, the people of the Commonwealth of Kentucky, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties

Louisiana 1921, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy ...

Maine 1820, Preamble. We the People of Maine, acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity and imploring His aid and direction ..

Maryland 1776, Preamble. We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty.

Massachusetts 1780, Preamble. We, the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe ... in the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction ..

Michigan 1908, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution ...

Minnesota 1857, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings

Mississippi 1890, Preamble. We, the people of Mississippi, in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work ...

Missouri 1845, Preamble. We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness ... establish this Constitution .

Montana 1889, Preamble. We, the people of Montana, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty. establish this Constitution ..

Nebraska 1875, Preamble. We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution ...

Nevada 1864, Preamble. We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution ...

New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V. Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience ...

New Jersey 1844, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors .

New Mexico 1911, Preamble. We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty ...

New York 1846, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings ..

North Carolina 1868, Preamble. We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those ...

North Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain ...

Ohio 1852, Preamble. We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common ..

Oklahoma 1907, Preamble. Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty ... establish this ...

Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I. Section 2. All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences ...

Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble. We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance ..

Rhode Island 1842, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Rhode Island, grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing ..

South Carolina, 1778, Preamble. We, the people of the State of South Carolina, grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution ...

South Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties ... establish this Constitition .

Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III. That all men have a natural and
indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience ...

Texas 1845, Preamble. We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God ...

Utah 1896, Preamble. Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution .

Vermont 1777, Preamble. Whereas all government ought to ... enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man .

Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI. Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator ... can be directed only by Reason ... and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other ...

Washington 1889, Preamble. We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution ...

West Virginia 1872, Preamble. Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia, reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God ..

Wisconsin 1848, Preamble. We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility .

Wyoming 1890, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties .. establish this Constitution ...

NOW THAT'S PROGRESS. "So I saw in my dream, that just as Christian came up with the cross, his burden loosed from his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble, and so continued to do, till it came to the mouth of the sepulchre, where it fell in, and I saw it no more."

ONE NATION UNDER GOD, PART II. You can read about the oral arguments at Howard Blashman's blog.

CHOOSE TO GO THERE. Since we discussed free will in Sunday School, you might enjoy David Heddle's post today.

ONE NATION UNDER GOD. Today the Supreme Court hears the pledge of allegiance case. Michael Newdow, an atheist, filed suit in California to prevent the school district from requiring his daughter to say the pledge of allegiance because of the “under God” phrase. Never mind that his daughter is happy to say it and that she does not even live with Newdow.

The case is Elk Grove Unified School District v. Newdow. Mr. Newdow has won the previous rounds. It is the continuing and successful effort of atheists and humanists to strip all religious reference from American society. Then we can be like the Godless French. God forbid.

The phrase “under God” was not in the original pledge. It was added in 1954. The most recent AP poll show 9 out of 10 Americans want to retain the phrase in the pledge. The same poll shows more Democrats want it out than Republicans, by the way.

There are two questions before the court. The first is standing, that is, does Mr. Newdow have the right to bring this suit even though he has little to do with his daughter and her mother has all the court ordered rights concerning her education. Her mother, by the way, is Sandra Banning, a born again Christian who also wants her daughter to recite the pledge “as is”.

The second issue is whether the phrase “under God” violates the establishment clause of the Constitution.

I do not think it looks good for the home team. The Court has gone far to strip anything Christian from public life. It has pulled back some over the last two years, but this is a big one. Additionally, a sure vote for the phrase is lost as Justice Scalia recused himself due to his earlier criticism of the court of appeals decision.

The Court could take the easy way out and rule that Mr. Newdow does not have standing. A good argument could be made for that, but it would be perceived as the cowards way out. The Court will also feel the pressure of public opinion, which is overwhelmingly in favor of the current pledge.

The third alternative is the Court could uphold the pledge by holding that it no longer carries a religious message. That, in fact, is the argument of some of the parties who have filed amicus briefs. This is the stance taken by the American Jewish Congress, which has filed a brief in support of the pledge. I am glad the support the phrase and have often argued that Jews should join conservative Christians in upholding our traditional values and beliefs. However, the first point of the brief states that the once religious practice has transformed into a secular practice. This is the same argument used in some of the Ten Commandment cases and manger scene cases.

This is a bad argument. If we win the battle to keep God in society by saying he no longer means anything, we have won the battle and lost the war. It is just a different approach to secularism.

THIS FROM KIM ARNOLD.

Ever have one of those days where you feel like this? I hope you don't. But if you do, here's something the Lord gave me to share.

Woke up today - already tired
My brain has a sign that could read "expired"

A jumble of thoughts that just don't connect
My plan for the day is circumspect

Things slip through my hands and land on the floor
The easiest task becomes a huge chore

So many who don't want to do their job
Lack of help from others just feels like a mob

Overwhelmed by things great and small
I look for a door and find only a wall

The stress meter reads at level red
The best answer seems to go back to bed

I call out to my Master and plead for flight
He answers with Words that are truthful and right

Where is your sword, your helmet, your shield?
Did I not tell you this life is a battle field?

Look at these trials that you currently face
Did I not say that you would have hurdles in this race?

My grace is sufficient, it is My strength you need
On your own, you will fumble, but with Me you'll succeed

It is My glory that matters, it is Me you must trust
For all else is dirt and ashes and rust

It is faith that I credit, it is power you receive
Give me all of your burdens, and then just believe

I have wisdom to deal with any frustration
After all, am I not the LORD of Creation?

Give way to My plan, and know Who I am.
The Father who loves you and shepherds His lamb.

I WONDER HOW MANY ARE NAMED MICKEY? You'll want to know this. Lake Worth, Florida, has the largest population of Finns outside Finland.

DARNED IF YOU DO. It is ironic that President Bush is criticized for not killing bin Laden early in his administration. Yet, he is also criticized for attacking Saddam Hussein to prevent terrorism. If he had attacked bin Laden in a foreign country, the liberals would have protested and complained. They would have said he was no real threat. Mr. Rogers would say "can you say two faced?"

FOR ALL MY TEACHER FRIENDS. From Friday, March 26 to Sunday, March 28, Borders offers a twenty five percent discount to teachers! Be like Erasmus, use your extra money to buy books. Food can wait.

THAT SETTLES IT. Yasser Arafat watched "The Passion of the Christ" and said it was not anti-Semitic. I'm glad we cleared that up. Rumor has it he rated it "1" on a scale of "1 to I'd blow up your children for a head line in a newspaper of limited circulation". He is, of course, an expert in anti-Semitism.

THAT SEALS IT. Airport authorities caught a man, claiming to be a biology professor, attempting to bring a seal's head on board a flight. Talk about impinging your freedom, it turns out it is illegal to do this. The man said he found a seal on the beach, cut off its head, and took it for "educational purposes". My question is, whose educational purposes, his or the seals? Did he really find it on the beach, or is this a case of seal discipline going too far?

Seals worldwide are up in flippers. CNN reports that millions of seals gathered in Washington D.C (although the video only shows 12) to protest President Bush's policy toward seals. John Kerry appeared on television saying that numerous seals had contacted him saying they needed him to win and change the policies of the current administration. Barbara Streisand send a memo to the Chairman of the Democratic Party saying the party needs to get involved in this immediately.

Gay seals said their needs were particularly overlooked. Several gay seal couples appeared at the county clerk's office in San Francisco demanding to be married. Rosie O'Donell appeared later and married a seal also. When SNN (Seal News Network) interviewed the clerk, she said she didn't know if she could license a seal and a whale for marriage, but did because it involved fundamental mammal rights. And, after all, it is Bush's fault that none had ever married before.

People appeared by the ones in Eupopean capitals to demand rights for seals. France passes a law giving full mammal rights to seals as long as they do not wear Muslim head dress. The Dutch passed laws giving them the right to euthanize old seals and set up seal prostitution guidelines. Rumor has it the American Episcopal church will ordain a seal priest in its next convocation.

Meanwhile, the professor has fled the country to avoid prosecution. He joined Al-Qaeda and is believed to be in hiding in Pakistan. He recently issued a video via Al-Jezebel television, appearing in a robe and head dress, but with this face obscured. The CIA confirms that it definitely could be him if not someone else. He stated that all crusader seals would be crushed under the sandal of Allah's jihad and driven from Arab lands and any othe place Arabs could safely attack and get publicity.

SPURGEON SPEAKS. "The old truth that Calvin preached, that Augustine preached, that Paul preached, is the truth that I must preach to-day, or else be false to my conscience and my God. "

KERRY'S FOREIGN SUPPORT. Although Kerry seems to have lied about his foreign support, he is getting it now. First, the decidedly anti-semitic Malaysians support him. Then, the Socialists in Spain endorsed him. If only Bin Laden will, he will practically have the triple play.

The Malaysians I can understand. President Bush leads a small group of nations with the intelligence and courage to stand and resist the Arab\Islamic attack on the West. In addition, he supports the right of Israel and the Jewish people to exist. The Malaysians, along with most other Arabs and Muslims, surely would rejoice to see him removed so that they can proceed with their onslaught.

The Spanish are a bit more complicated. The Leftist government is not philosophically aligned with our President, but it is hard to see how a bunch of Socialists would find common ground with a rich New Englander. They probably believe Kerry would run from danger and conflict as swiftly as they, as impossible as that seems, and they would not be confronted with abandoning a strong ally for fear of angering an already implacable foe.

The French would probably endorse Kerry also, except they know if would probably kill his chances of election.

FRIENDLY ARAB QUOTE OF THE DAY. "We are not fighting so that you will offer us something. We are fighting to eliminate you." Hussein Massawi.

OSR. Well, I just drove in from San Antonio. Ok, I confess. I went to Starbucks before I came home. Note, however, that the Little Woman is at work. I came home "the back way" on Highway 281 instead of Interstate 35, also known as Trucker Heaven, or Nafta Road. I went down on I-35, squeezed in between trucks all the way. At least all the way to Temple, where the Temple police had closed several miles of the highway. It appeared to be because of a wreck. At least, that explained about 50 yards of it. I could see no reason to block off the other 5 miles. It added about 30 minutes to the trip. I got to my hotel about 12:30 a.m.

Coming back was better. Highway 281 cuts through the Hill Country. Redbud trees were blooming, and some Bradford Pears. Also, peach trees were blooming north of Blanco. There is a purple blooming tree down around San Antonio, but I am not sure what it is. Then, around Blanco, I found a classical music station. They were playing Aaron Copeland's Suite For the Red Pony. (He wrote that for the movie made from the Steinbeck book, in the 1930's, by the way.) I thought, if you have to drive, driving through the Hill Country listening to anything by Copeland at full blast is the way to do it.

THE PAKISTANIS ARE NOT TOO GENTLE EITHER. Today Pakistani troops killed 24 people suspected of being involved with either Al Qaeda or the Taliban. This occured a few miles from the Afghan border. The president promised to clean out 500 to 600 foreign terrorists.

ALL TOLD, I'D RATHER BE ARRESTED IN SPAIN. Al Qaeda may have Spain on the run, but not Saudi Arabia. The Saudis have been on a campaign to run Al Qaeda out of town. The latest raids killed three of Saudi Arabia's 26 most-wanted militants. They also arrested hundreds of suspected extremists. Notable is the killing of of Khaled Ali Haj, important to Al Qaeda's regional operation.

I CHOSE TO POST THIS. I do not come into this pulpit hoping that perhaps somebody will of his own free will return to Christ. My hope lies in another quarter. I hope that my Master will lay hold of some of them and say, "You are mine, and you shall be mine. I claim you for myself." My hope arises from the freeness of grace, and not from the freedom of the will. C.H SPURGEON

CLARIFICATION. Al Sharpton is not a foreign leader.

IS IT GOOD NEWS OR BAD NEWS? Al Sharpton endorsed John Kerry.

KERRY'S CLAIM. "I have heard from people, foreign leaders elsewhere in the world who don't appreciate the Bush administration and would love to see a change in the leadership of the United States."

MY QUESTION. Were any named Osama?

FROM FLIP FLOP TO FABRICATION. John Kerry is receiving criticism for failing to verify his claim that foreign leaders urged him to defeat the President. After two weeks, he still has made no explanation. I liked where he told the heckler it was none of his business. (Hey, you voter guys, shut up. This is my campaign, not yours.)

My suggestion is that Kerry talk to the new Spanish government. I'm sure they'll support him. The only problem is catching one to talk to while they are running away in such a hurry.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! It's embarassing to watch the Spanish run from Iraq and Al-Qaeda. It looks so, well, cowardly. I'm embarassed for them. Daniel Drezner has a good run down on the whole thing here.

THE EMPTY EGG. (This came in from my hard boiled investigator.)

Jeremy was born with a twisted body and a slow mind. At the age of 12
he was still in second grade, seemingly unable to learn. His teacher,
Doris Miller, often became exasperated with him. He would squirm in his
seat, drool, and make grunting noises. At other times, he spoke clearly
and distinctly, as if a spot of light had penetrated the darkness of his brain.
Most of the time, however, Jeremy just irritated his teacher.

One day she called his parents and asked them to come in for a
consultation. As the Forresters entered the empty classroom, Doris
said to them, "Jeremy really belongs in a special school. It isn't
fair to him to be with younger children who don't have learning
problems. Why, there is a five year gap between his age and that of
the other students."

Mrs. Forrester cried softly into a tissue, while her husband spoke.
"Miss Miller," he said, "there is no school of that kind nearby. It
would be a terrible shock for Jeremy if we had to take him out of this
school. We know he really likes it here."

Doris sat for a long time after they had left, staring at the snow outside
the window. Its coldness seemed to seep into her soul. She wanted to
sympathize with the Forresters. After all, their only child had a terminal
illness. But it wasn't fair to keep him in her class. She had 18 other
youngsters to teach, and Jeremy was a distraction. Furthermore, he
would never learn to read and write. Why waste any more time trying?

As she pondered the situation, guilt washed over her. Here I am
complaining when my problems are nothing compared to that poor family,
she thought. Lord, please help me to be more patient with Jeremy. From
that day on, she tried hard to ignore Jeremy's noises and his blank
stares.

Then one day, he limped to her desk, dragging his bad leg behind him.
"I love you, Miss Miller," he exclaimed, loud enough for the whole class to
hear. The other students snickered, and Doris' face turned red.

She stammered, "Wh-why that's very nice, Jeremy. N-now please take
your seat."

Spring came, and the children talked excitedly about the coming of
Easter. Doris told them the story of Jesus, and then to emphasize the
idea of new life springing forth, she gave each of the children a
large plastic egg. "Now," she said to them, "I want you to take this
home and bring it back tomorrow with something inside that shows new
life. Do you understand?" "Yes, Miss Miller," the children responded
enthusiastically-all except for Jeremy. He listened intently; his eyes
never left her face. He did not even make his usual noises.

Had he understood what she had said about Jesus' death and
resurrection? Did he understand the assignment? Perhaps she should
call his parents and explain the project to them.

That evening, Doris' kitchen sink stopped up. She called the landlord
and waited an hour for him to come by and unclog it. After that, she
still had to shop for groceries, iron a blouse, and prepare a
vocabulary test for the next day. She completely forgot about phoning
Jeremy's parents.

The next morning, 19 children came to school, laughing and talking as
they placed their eggs in the large wicker basket on Miss Miller's
desk. After they completed their math lesson, it was time to open the
eggs. In the first egg, Doris found a flower. "Oh yes, a flower is
certainly a sign of new life," she said. "When plants peek through the
ground, we know that spring is here." A small girl in the first row
waved her arm. "That's my egg, Miss Miller," she called out.

The next egg contained a plastic butterfly, which looked very real.
Doris held it up. "We all know that a caterpillar changes and grows
into a beautiful butterfly. Yes, that's new life, too." Little Judy smiled
proudly and said, "Miss Miller, that one is mine."

Next, Doris found a rock with moss on it. She explained that moss,
too, showed life. Billy spoke up from the back of the classroom,
"My daddy helped me," he beamed.

Then Doris opened the fourth egg. She gasped. The egg was empty.
Surely it must be Jeremy's she thought, and of course, he did not
understand her instructions. If only she had not forgotten to phone
his parents. Because she did not want to embarrass him, she quietly
set the egg aside and reached for another. Suddenly, Jeremy spoke up.
"Miss Miller,aren't you going to talk about my egg?"

Flustered, Doris replied, "But Jeremy, your egg is empty." He looked into
her eyes and said softly, "Yes, but Jesus' tomb was empty, too."

Time stopped. When she could speak again, Doris asked him, "Do you
know why the tomb was empty?" "Oh, yes," Jeremy said, "Jesus was
killed and put in there. Then His Father raised Him up."

The recess bell rang. While the children excitedly ran out to the school
yard, Doris cried. The cold inside her melted completely away.

Three months later, Jeremy died. Those who paid their respects at the
mortuary were surprised to see 19 eggs on top of his casket, all of
them empty.

Happy Resurrection Day.

DANCING WITH THE DEVIL. My heart goes out to Spain at the time of this terrible loss. Unfortunately, Spainards have given Islamic Terrorists a great victory. By voting out the government that supported America, they have taken the path of Europe: salvation by avoidance. It will not work, for the avoidance of conflict with Islamic Arabs only helps the short term goal of Islamic Arabs, neutralizing allies of the United States.

The long term goal of Islamic Arabs is that of Pinky and The Brain: to take over the world. When they have conquered the confronters, like the United States, they will come for the avoiders. Sadly, there will be no one to defend them.

This efficient act of terrorism has paid huge dividends, to the harm of the rest of the world. The reaction of Spain tells the Muslims that terrorism works, that the West really is as soft as they think. The glee of the terrorists must sound like the howling of demons tonight as they celebrate their victory over Spain. As grievous as the loss of life is, Spain has traded its dignity for 200 lives. They should put out a sign on the border that says "Welcome Back Moors".

Sadly, also, is that the terrorists will be further convinced that America will fall if they just use the right attack. I think that could work if John Kerry becomes president, for I think he will avoid conflict as Clinton did to keep things looking rosy at home. But, it may again rouse the sleeping dog that is American patriotism, and result in conflagration. Remember Osama, Japan thought we would go away after Pearl Harbor. Instead, we dropped a bomb.

To Spain, I grieve your loss. To the outgoing administration, I thank you for your staunch support in our time of need. To the new administration and the majority of voters in Spain, I'm sorry we can no longer call you allies.

MORE FUN IN THE COURTS. Another woman sued because she was reassigned to work under the supervision of the company's web master. (Look out, Mike.)

I'm gonna need more DUCT TAPE!!

FUN IN THE COURTS. Important litigation in the Eighth Circuit includes a suite by a woman for sexual harassment because her co-workers called her "Malibu Barbi" three times. (She wasn't "seized" either".)

IT DEPENDS ON YOUR DEFINITION OF "SEIZED". The 10th Circuit Federal Court of Appeals held that a defendant was not "seized" when a drug sniffing dog approached him, sniffed his groin area, and sat down next to him.

ROLLER BALL. I'm in a sports mood. It probably means I'm trying not to think about all the work I have to do. Todd Bertuzzi will have lots of time to think. He is suspended for attacking an opposing player during a game. He slugged Steve Moore from behind and drove him head first into the ice. Moore suffered two broken vertebrae and deep cuts on his face. He is out for the season. It was evidently a retaliation hit. Moore previously put Bertuzzi's team mate, gave him a concussion, and put him out for three games.

The NHL suspended Bertuzzi for the rest of the season.

Hockey is to America what the gladiators and the Christians were to Rome, brutal exhibitions of violence to entertain the blood thirsty masses. Only the gladiators wear big, bulky pajamas with helmets. They carry big sticks with which to hit each other. Peiodically, they take off their big gloves and grab each other and throw wild punches like drunken sailors. It is a great game. People love it. They also rent Rollerball and watch it on off nights.

GO MELVIN GO. A & M basketball coach of sorts, Melvin Watkins, resigned. It was a little like the guy who leaves out the back door and sneaks out of town after dark while the lynch mob is walking down the street with torches and a rope. MW finished his season at 7-21. The A & M basketball program is to basketball what the Titanic is to sailing. Remember Tony Barone? Remember Shelby Metcalf, the world's longest tenured losing coach? It is a disgrace. A & M should either hire a real coach or quit the program. I could go either way.

When Gene Stallings coached at A & M, there were signs around campus that said "Go Gene Go, anywhere, just go!" Bye Melvin. It's a hard business. My other personal favorite sign was "Gene Stallings for president. Anyone else for coach." Gene ran the tree and out offense. They ran three times up the middle for no gain and then punted. It was so bad, Aggies took to kissing on first downs instead of touchdowns. I still hardly ever kissed a date. I could have written a book: I kissed kissing good bye.

So, of course they are looking for a new coach that is different from all others and a throw back to an earlier era. Joe Scott of Air Force, that plays run out the clock basketball. I'm trying to image Joe in Houston trying to recruit run and gun high school players saying, Well, you won't shoot much, we won't score much, but you should come here. It rains a lot.

BE STILL MY HEART. You can see the new Corvette convertible here. It has the first power top since 1963. Also, the cool little Mini Cooper convertible. Wacka Wacka.

You can read the professor here.

AS IF I NEEDED A REASON. Reason Number One not to vote for John Kerry: the French like him! I agree with Professor Bainbridge on this one. Vote for Bush. Annoy France.

BACKFIRE. "John Kerry is not a black man. He is a privileged white man who has no idea what it is in this country to be a poor white in this country, let alone a black man." Paula Diane Harris, founder of the Andrew Young National Center for Social Change.

JOHN MCCAIN IS AN AGGIE. In this writing about how to be brave, McCain offers this advice I heard frequently in the Aggie Band: Suck it up! In Aggie parlance, it meant quit whining, finish the job, be a man. It is not prosaic, but it is something America can use.

The Baby and I laugh about a speech given by a young black woman at her school on Martin Luther King Day. The girl kept repeating a hook line that black people were beat down by white people. The only problem was the girl was wearing an expensive Tommy Hilfiger outfit and lived in a nice neighborhood. We wrote a counter speech, ok I did, that was titled "You Ain't Beat Down". Now I could write a sequel and call it:

Suck It Up.

That is my advice to people everywhere. I'm on board with McCain for the first time ever. If you have problems, suck it up. Finish the job. Bear the pain. Be a man. Or a woman. No, I don't mean you can choose which, I mean it applies to both.

Now I have to apply this to myself. I start the job transition tomorrow. I hate transitions. Suck it up. I have to bounce between two jobs and two places. Suck it up. I won't have a real office at the new place until the old guy leaves. You guessed it.

I feel better already.

Go and do likewise.

Yes, I know the Little Woman does not like me to use that word.

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A DEMOCRAT.

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-bidding
Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

3. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal
funding.

4. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.

5. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

6. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start wars.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee, and Thomas Edison.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.


17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal

18. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.

19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy. (ok, I admit that one).

NOW THAT MAKES SENSE. Egyptian policmen who arrest men suspected of homosexual conduct punish them with, among other things, encouraging other prisoners to rape them. Hmm. Let's see. Homosexual conduct is bad, so we will punish it by getting others to do it. I wonder if they offer logic classes in Egypt.

OPERA BOY IS COMING TO VISIT. Just heard that the famous Brandon Poor, soon to be graduate of the Manhattan Conservatory, and soon to be Fort Worth Opera bound, is coming to visit my humble home. I should get his autograph while it is still cheap. Really cheap. Really. I wonder if he will do that role where he has to wear the chicken feathers? Only if they pay him, I suspect.

Getting the Point. Houston criminal defense attorneys need the straight face rule. You know, if you can say it with a straight face I'll listen to it. Defending a woman who killed her bound husband by stabbing him 193 times, her attorney claimed self defense. I wonder if he had to practice saying that to the mirror to avoid laughing.