CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE. McDonald's is now going into the DVD business. You will be able to pick up a DVD and return it at any McDonald's.

I guess this is aimed at mobile parents, especially on vacation. You can stop in Abilene and rent "Vacation", get a Coke and a cheeseburger, then drive on. When you get to, say Clarendon, you stop, use the facilities, buy ice cream, return the video, and rent European Vacation.

I thought vacation was supposed to be family time. You know, you and your brother fight in the back seat while your Mom yells at you, and your Dad threatens "Am going to have to stop this car?"

Actually, in our family, the conversation often went like this:

Mom: Larry, look out the window and see the beautiful mountains.

Larry: I'm reading.

Dad: If you read, you're going to get car sick.

Larry: I'm already sick of the car.

Dad: Watch your mouth.

Mom: But, the mountains are beautiful. You can read any time.

Larry: No, I can't. You always make me look out the window.

Dad: Watch your mouth.

Mom: What could be so interesting? Don't you want to see the mountains?

Larry: Aragorn is going on the Paths of the Dead. I don't care about mountains.

Dad: Do I need to stop this car?

Mom: Maybe we should just let him read.

Dad: OK, but if he gets carsick, he's cleaning it up.

But now, the kid can watch the whole thing on DVD. You could drive from Fort Worth all the way to Colorado, only stopping at McDonald's for your wife to go to the bathroom and your kid to get the next DVD.

But, every now and then, you could rattle their cage and say "turn off the DVD and watch the scenery." The kid would say, Oh Dad, the movie is just getting interesting.

I'd say, do I need to stop this car?

Of course, my kid would say "only if you want to watch the DVD."