BE SUBJECT TO - HUSBANDS: 1 PETER 3:1-7

Be Subject To - Husbands

3:1-7

The third institution Peter mentions is marriage. As with the other two institutions, Peter begins with “be subject to”. (1) (Many versions say “submissive”, but the Greek word is the same as that translated “be subject to”.) He instructed wives to be subject to their husbands.

Peter said to to do this “in the same way” or “likewise”, meaning in the same way Christians submit to the authority of government or slaves submit to their masters. Christians can do this because they know who they are in Christ and can submit themselves to others freely knowing it does not diminish who they are. If Jesus, who is Lord, could submit himself to the disciples by washing their feet, and submit himself to the Roman authorities to die on the cross, we can submit ourselves to bring honor to Jesus. Women can submit to the authority of their husbands because they know who they are in Christ.  

He said for wives to be subject to their husbands even if the husbands are not living in obedience to God’s word. The reason is that they may be won to Christ by witnessing the conduct of their wives. Even if they do not believe the gospel when they first hear it, they may come to believe it as they witness the good character of their wives. 

He also advised making their gentle and quiet spirit their main adornment rather than their clothing and accessories. That is not to say women cannot makes themselves look pretty. But that the thing that will witness to Christ is character not physical appearance.    

Jesus described himself as gentle and humble. (Matthew 11:29) Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22) Paul urged all believers to aspire to live quietly. (1 Thessalonians 4:11) It is a spiritual trait all believers should strive for. Here, Peter says it is part of submitting yourself to another.  

There is a cultural element here. As people came to Christ, they had to figure out to deal with their Christian freedom in the context of their daily lives. At that time, most societies were patriarchal. A woman who realized her freedom in Christ, married to an unbeliever, might feel free to disrespect him. But, that would not make her look good, nor would it make her religion look good. 

But the same basic principle applies today. If a married woman becomes a Christian, is she more likely to lead her husband to Christ if she is nice to him and respectful to him, or if she constantly argues with him and disrespects him? 

A warning is needed here, however. Peter does not say a woman must submit herself to all men or all husbands, only her husband. Additionally, Peter does not give a right of enforcement to husbands, Husbands receive the submission of their wives, but do not have a right to physically or verbally abuse their wives to obtain submission.  

Peter also had an instruction for husbands. He does not use the phrase “be subject to”, wanting to maintain the Scriptural structure of marriage, but sets a high standard of behavior. He said to live with your wives in an understanding way. (7)

Men need to understand that women think and feel differently than they do. Men usually love that when they are dating. They love a woman’s tender heart, her affection, her emotional makeup. But, sometimes, after marriage, men find those things annoying and lash out at their wives. Peter said, live in an understanding way. Understand she is different. Enjoy that. Realize that her differences can help you. God made woman to be a helper to man. That implies that he needs help. I know I do. 

For example, my wife can ascertain if someone is troubled within seconds of meeting them. She can get people to tell them their troubles and comfort them. She has taught me to do this much better than I ever did on my own. 

Peter also said to show honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. There was a time when men held the door for a woman, carried her packages, and did the more physical things. It was not because men did not believe women could do those things. It was to honor them. 

The most important thing to remember is that women, wives, are equal to men, husbands before God, both heirs of grace. (7) Both are made in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27) 

Failure to honor your wife in this way will even hinder your prayers. 

Christian life is not lived by demanding our rights, but by giving them up for the sake of Christ. It is important that spouses remember that their marriage is not just for their fulfillment, but to glorify Christ in the world.