Tuesday, March 29, 2005

RESURRECTION DAY MUSINGS II. Two religious leaders are in the hospital. The Pope has been there for some time and not doing well. Now Jerry Falwell is in critical condition with a bad case of pneumonia. God makes it rain on Catholics and Protestants alike.

The main difference is that Catholics all over the world are mourning the Pope's ill health. All over America protestants are hearing about Falwell and going "Huh."

The Pope’s doctors are considering a feeding tube for him. Terri Schiavo had a feeding tube. What do you want to bet they won’t pull out the Pope’s feeding tube as he declines. Can you imagine the outrage worldwide? How about this headine: Curia starves Pope to death by removing feeding tube. Cardinals allege Pope made oral statements that he did not want to live if he got sick. It’s just too bad Terri Schiavo doesn’t have any official status other than as a disabled person.

Madonna and her husband did what they could to keep publicity on the Pope, as they went to a party dressed as a nun (Madonna) and the Pope (Mr. Madonna). Catholics are upset. The president of the Catholic League (I thought this was a softball thing, but evidently I’m wrong about that) called Mr. Madonna “depraved”. He had this great suggestion: "I suggest that next time, Madonna dress up in something more suited to her, such as from the Wiccan religion. And the Catholic League would donate a broom to her husband — with instructions on what to do with it."

Ironically, Mr. and Mrs. Madonna wore the Catholic costumes to a Jewish celebration, Purim. It is common to come in costumes from Jewish History, especially tied to Purim. Here is news for her fellow Cabbalists: when Madonna embraces your thing, she does it Madonna Style, not your way. Look for more embarassment to come.

And further, Jews have been complaining to the Pope and others for years that the Catholics have insulted them and their religion. Now the slipper is on the other foot.

If you read this blog regularly, you probably know that Easter, among Christians, celebrates the resurrection of Christ. Well, now the IRS wants to get into the act. The IRS formerly listed Toni Lausch of Pennsylvania as dead. They would not even accept her tax return. (Is there a box in the standard letter saying they don’t accept returns from dead people? Was there some dead person in that movie, Sixth Sense, telling the little boy “I’m dead. Tell them to accept my tax return”?)

Since the lady could not file a tax return, she could not receive her refund. Not only that, but she could not get a car loan because the computer showed her as dead. I guess all is well that ends well. The IRS has now notified the woman they show her to be alive.

And you thought life was tough.

Even though it was Easter weekend, my computer died and stayed dead. Mike has agreed to come look at it tonight. (Does this mean I have to clean off the desk?) It has been the worst computer ever. If I were not so cheap, I would wish it to stay dead so I could buy another brand.

Mike, by the way, is putting a new page on this web site. It is for lyrics to songs Elvis would sing if he sang Christian music. Sounds like fun to me. Check it out.

Pentecostals with love "You Ain't Nothin' But A Hinn Dog". I had a friend in college who thought Blue Christmas was a porno movie.

Well, I gotta go home and have dinner with the Baby, clean off the desk so Mike can look at the computer, and go exercise. I like to wait until the crowd thins out at the gym so I scare less people. Even when I run on the treadmill people look behind me to see what is chasing me.

Later.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The site is at www.txmike.com/Elvis